By Danica Winters –
I have been busy typing away on book number five of the Nymph Series (to be released Fall 2015), and as I’ve been working on this book, it’s given me a lot of time to reflect on how I used to be cool and I thought I share my thoughts with you! Sit back. Enjoy. And thank all that is great that you are probably cooler than this author.
When I was growing up in the early 90s you were the epitome of cool if you owned a hyper-color shirt (that was until your mother carelessly threw it in the dryer), had a pair of sparkly jelly shoes, and if your bangs could stand nearly vertical even in hurricane-force winds. I’m proud to say that I was even the proud owner of a full seven-day circulation of phenomenal vests—my favorite being the one whose fabric faintly resembled my grandmother’s couch. Oh, I can feel your jealousy now… I know… I was pretty cool. Or not.
With a thirty-something birthday approaching, I have been reminiscent of my earlier coolness—bring back the vests! Oh wait, did they already do that? I’m sorry, I may have missed it in the days and months, oh heck, years I have spent cleaning up things that would give even the most hardened janitor nightmares. (Vaseline/baby powder on the carpet, anyone? How does blue goop get on a ceiling? Oh, my personal best was the moment I contracted conjunctivitis from splashing toilet water in my eye while fetching my son’s wayward Star Wars toy. Beat that, Larry the Custodian!)
Finally, we have broken out of the baby years and stepped right into the my-eight-year-old-is-more-tech-savvy-than-me age. Come on, what is the point of FaceTime when you are barely old enough to brush your teeth without supervision? What happened to the phone? Remember the days when you had the phone cord stretched so tight it threatened to come out of the base just when you were inside your bedroom door? I miss the click of a parent picking up and the ominous: “It’s time to get off the phone.” Now with all the technology, when it’s time for bed I have found my warnings don’t have the same punch when I tell my kids, “It’s time to turn off the FaceTime, and your cell, and your tablet… Heck, let’s go dark. No screens, all right?”
Oh, yeah. The thread that was left of my faded, washed out, run through the washing machine cool card must now be handed over and replaced with a befuddled look whenever my kid starts talking about the latest app. The good news is that these apps (at least the ones my kids are telling me about) are pretty educational… I admit I have been caught playing the 2nd Grade math app because I love the feeling I get when I watch the happy little pink bunny make it over the math hurdle.
Oh, how sad I have become. I can now have complete conversations about the pitfalls of buying a different brand of toilet paper from normal (see earlier comment about unclogging toilet), who’s who on the Disney channel (you know you think that little girl from Dog with a Blog is just a bit annoying), and why Girl Scout cookies are both good and bad for little girls (I’m just hypothesizing here, but I would be willing to bet that Thin Mints must be made by the same makers as heroin—just sayin’).
Somewhere in the ridiculous carpool line this week it hit me—my worst nightmares are coming true. I’m becoming my parents, just slightly less tech-stunted.
The only solace I find is that when we fire up the old Wii for ‘family time’. (Don’t get me started on what that used to mean… Can you say Crockpot Friday?!) When the music starts and the ‘oldies’ come on, I can start dancing with my kids and they actually love my music. Lorde and Taylor Swift are great, but my kids have to admit that Run DMC and the Ghostbuster’s theme song are where it’s at. Okay, well they would admit it if they could stop laughing at their mom and dad’s dance moves.
One thing that will never change from generation to generation will be the ability to embarrass our children. In fact, that gives me a great idea… Honking in the carpool line is timeless. Better yet, I will break out my old pink foam rollers and show those other moms that I still got it, that I am a cool Mom.
Hear me roar, baby.
Danica Winters is a bestselling author of over ten books. She has won multiple awards and is known for writing books that grip readers with their ability to drive emotion through suspense and occasionally a touch of magic. Most recently, Danica was the winner of the 2013 Paranormal Romance Guild’s Paranormal Romantic Suspense Book of the Year Award and Chanticleer Media’s 2013 Paranormal Book of the Year for her novel Montana Mustangs.
When she’s not working, she can be found in the wilds of Montana testing her patience while she tries to understand the allure of various crafts (quilting, pottery, and painting are not her thing). She always believes the cup is neither half full nor half empty, but it better be filled with wine.