posted on June 3, 2016 by Kristan Higgins

The lure of the emotionally unavailable man

If You Only KnewWay back when I was in college, I fell for a cute boy. His name was Rick, and he had a little space between his front teeth, and he played classical guitar. Le sigh, right? Also, he was a Lands End model or something like that. Please. I was helpless.

But Rick told me right up front—while he liked me, we weren’t going to have a “real” relationship. We should be friends, hang out, maybe smooch a little. He was going into the Peace Corps in two months. He had just broken up with a longtime girlfriend. He wasn’t looking for love.

Obviously, I fell right in love with him. What followed was exactly what you’d expect—me hoping he’d change his mind…him not changing his mind. Me, losing a little more dignity with every passing day…him keeping his dignity and liking me less and less with every passing day.

We broke up before he left for the Peace Corps. I sent him a care package, but mail was spotty at best. Never heard from him again. Still think of him fondly, and now that my heart has had more than two decades to recover, with great respect. Because he was and did exactly what he said. I was the dope who didn’t believe he meant it.

Oh, Dr. Angelou! Where were you with that quote when I needed it? Never mind, I wouldn’t have listened anyway.

In IF YOU ONLY KNEW, we have a classic case of the Kristan and Rick Syndrome in the person of Jenny Tate, who has the bad habit of falling immediately in love with emotionally unattainable men. Case in point—Leo Killian, who likes her very much and tells her outright—I’m for recreation only. Do not fall in love with me. Unfortunately, Leo is a man and doesn’t understand the siren call of such words.

But—and there’s always a but—Jenny has a feeling about Leo. That for all his words and actions, there’s another layer there. She’s right…but so is he. There comes a point in the book where she tells him something so selfless and kind that I cried and cried when writing it.

Then again, I’m a sucker for happy endings.

I hope you’ll love the book, guys!

All the best for a happy summer,


IF YOU ONLY KNEW can be purchased for/from:


Kristan Higgins

Kristan Higgins

Kristan Higgins is the New York Times, USA TODAY, Wall Street Journal and Publishers Weekly bestselling author of 15 novels, which have been translated into more than twenty languages. Her books have received dozens of awards and accolades, including starred reviews from Kirkus, the New York Journal of Books, Publishers Weekly, Romantic Times, Library Journal and Booklist. She is a two-time recipient of Romance Writers of America RITA Award and a five-time nominee for The Kirkus Prize. Kristan lives in Connecticut with her heroic firefighter husband, two atypically affectionate children, a neurotic rescue mutt and an occasionally friendly cat.

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