Turn the Page; October 10, 1999
Laurie's Report
Saturday 3:15 AM.. the damn alarm went off! Slapped that sucker a few times, then rolled outta bed at 3:30. Showered, Shampooed and Sparklin' up a storm. Outta the house by 4:15. The directions via MapQuest said it should take about 6.5 hours to get there. Considering I got LOST the first time, I figured I'd leave meself a good hour and half.. just to get lost and found again. Its pretty damn dark at 4:30am! Had my super-duper-jumbo-gallon of java, with LOTS of Toasted Almond creamer. Yumm! Had my jamming' road-trippin' CDs with me. Irish Drinking CDs (3 of 'em) Oldies from 70-75.. (6 CDs)some classical, Enya all played at PUKE volume. (coffee just wasn't doing it for me..)
The dawn FINALLY arrived.. just as I'm moseying' through Central Pa.. and I'd just put my Scotland the Brave CD in.. and I'm rounding' this bend.. and just glanced to the left.. sun is just risin' o'er the mountains BEHIND the mist... and I see this sign... SCOTLAND.. Yowza!! Damn near had to take a "moment'. Talk about getting the chills! Just then, the song Scotland The Brave comes on. Almost pulled over ..take some photos' (though "screw the signing".. and just sit and watch). But, I was still convinced I'd screw up and get lost, so I kept on truckin'. Pulled into Booberverryville.. 2.5 HOURS EARLY !!! Dang! The store was CLOSED. I tell ya, I damn near cried. What to do for 3 freaking' hours...? What else, DRIVE AROUND. I found.. (LOL..) FUNKSTOWN. Yep, ya read it right, FUNKStown. I wanted to study this joint!! The FIRST business you see when you drive in, is a GENTLEMEN'S CLUB. Hmmm, is anyone else singing that annoying song.. " WON'T YOU TAKE ME DOWN TOOOO .... FUNKYTOOWNN "...??? Choked on really cold coffee.. then pulled into a gas station to get some Ice tea. Drove BACK to Boonsboro.. and drove outta town on the OTHER side.. (same road). Did I mention that Boonsboro is..uhhh, real small? Yup.. if you blink, you'll miss the store! Not only did I blink.. but I yawned! Missed the entire block!
Around.. 10:50 I head back as Carla said she was going to be neurotically early. I pulled the truck into a parking spot RIGHT FRONT of the store, and look in my mirror.. to see Missy Carla herself moseying' up to the door. =)
The store is OPEN.. and Bruce and (I can't remember her name! young thing..maybe 15 or 16) are in there fixin' up the joint.. I'm loaded down with bags (one for Missy Nora and one for Missy Lisa.. both b-day prizes). Since Karen Logan had said that Nora had purchased her Aroma Stones, I knew JUST the right thing (I HOPE) to give Nora, to umm, possibly display her ROCKS.. or.. sumthin' else (namely the M&Ms packed in with the dish) Now I'm starting to have serious doubts about handing it over to her DURING the signing. BRAIN STORM. Hand it over to BRUCE before the thing even starts!! NOOOO Pressure! Good thinkin' Laur! so I handed BOTH off to Bruce, and he put 'em away for me. He's soo kewl. When we first walked into the store, Bruce was sitting behind the counter. Then he stood up. CHRRIIIIIIIIIST I swear.. my first thought was, it's LURCH! I think I come up to about his ELBOW. But he's a real sweetie. Anyway, you should have seen his face when I told him the one bag was a gift for Nora. You could just SEE him think, annnndddd.. who the hell are you!?!?! LOL, I'm thinking he thinks I'm some mad stalker now.
Okay, so its now. ooh 11:15.. Carla and I go outside and hang on the porch. We sit.. and sit.. and sit.. just WAITING for someone else to show up. Around 11:30, Ruth comes moseying up the sidewalk. (Ruth worked at TTP before Lisa took over). I'm sitting on the railing so I can see her perfectly, She comes closer, sees us staring at her.. and stops. LOL. I take off my sunglasses and she looks at me like.. why the hell do I know you?? "You don't remember me, do you!?" She just looks.. " well, you LOOK familiar, but I'm really bad with names.. where you here in July..?" oh jeez.. "Yup.. I was".
So,,,once we get that outta the way, she comes up and hangs on the porch with us. She's going to be working there today and has to be in there by 12:30.. but the plan was to meet up with the OTHER ladies (Pammy is one of 'em) and go to a place called Crawfords for lunch. At 12:05 its still just the three of us on the porch. We decided to bag 'em and go there anyway. Just as we get up, Geri (from AOL boards) comes up the walk with her daughter Chelsea!. This little girl is just TOO cute.
Gerri Ruth, Chelsea, Carla and I all mosey next door to Crawfords. All the GOOD tables are taken. (that being the one really BIG booth in the back of the store) So, we all pile into two booths. Geri had to run back outside for something and left Chelsea with US! BIG MISTAKE. We pounced! We just barraged her with questions. I told her she had beautiful eyes. "Thank You" "You're team must be really GOOD in soccer to be undefeated"
(she's just too cute..) "Thank You". When Gerri came back into the store, Ruth told her that Chelsea wants brothers and sisters. Now, my back was to Gerri so I couldn't see her face, but Carla said her jaw just dropped to the floor. SHOCKED just doesn't seem to convey her reaction. =) Just as we start making noise, the back booth cleared out, so UP we get and back we go. Just as we're getting all comfy, PAMMY wanders in the door. Ruth starts
waving. Pam sits and intro's all around. Okay, just me and Carla, as the others all know each other already. Ruth begins to tell us about something she's in the process of acquiring. and the waitress comes over. FINALLY. Ruth tells her some info.. then segues right into the order. Orders all around.. yadda yadda.. THEN.. Carolyn and Gerri's Mom in Law and her Aunt arrived and sit with us. Kewl gang!!! (no, not Cool AND the gang..) Lunch arrives, we start, and Bruce comes into the store. Ruth ducks so he doesn't see her, (it's 12:31..and we're still eating!).. so just then, that poor dear, Missy Chelsea missed her mouth completely when taking a bite of her Bologna Sub. Poor thing, I just leaned over and whispered, "you wanna try that one again??" She snorted..I'm sure she got some bologna up her nose.. but she recovered like a trouper! =)
ON TO THE SIGNING!!!. As we're walking out of Crawfords, we find, gasp! ICK! Eeewwwwww.. a paperback. of.. (gasping for air).. JD!!!.. NOT ROBB! That heinous skank..(so sorry if I've offended any fans) Janet D. Needless to say, I bought it (I'll go no higher than .50 cents) so that Chelsea could SHREDDED it for Nora.. in front of Nora. (is she a kewl kid or what!?! She asked if I'd help her. SURE! So we head on over to TTP. PACKED! Okay, it wasn't as packed as in July.. but Jeeez! And ..can you say.. WARM!!?? There are roughly about 40-50 ladies already in line. It was kinda screwy at first cause we couldn't figure out where the line actually started!! Once we got THAT all figured out, we hit the line and filled out our RAFFLE tickets. Gerri and Chelsea were ahead of us by about 3 ladies..so I didn't get to SEE Chelsea RRRIIIIIPPPPP apart that NASTY book, but all reports are, she did a WONDERFUL job and Missy Nora was smiling. heh hee! I'm drawing a total blank as to what exactly I said to Nora, beyond givin her my name.. I do remember saying something about my friend cathy not coming because she found herself a MAN.. and one of the other authors piped up saying " Ohh.. she's like THAT is she..".. I'm not sure..but I'm thinkin' they think I'm swinging..the OTHER way..!! I just shut up and moseyed away. DOH! I actually SPOKE to Jill Churchill and she told me about her latest HD book. Had her sign that one.. and I talked to AnneMarie Winston and she was kewl. Scored me a PENCIL and a summer99 flyer.. and her latest novella with THE CHEST on the cover. Sigh... wow... that chest is worth a good long studly.. aaahhh...study! Then off to the CASH REGISTER!. Then... out on the porch to hang for a while. Out there it was Me, Chelsea and Pam and Carolyn and Carla all hung out there waiting for Gerri to get her SECOND group of books taken care of. This was when I was giving Chelsea her atomic wedgies!!! Poor kid!! I was sure she'd never walk the same again!! LOL.. but she's 10, so
they bounce back quickly. (thank God!! Or Gerri would have killed me!)
Then it was on to the Creamery. I have no clue if that is actually what its' called.. but hey, its ice cream I"m there! We all ended up getting the same thing ( except Carolyn.. she just HAD to be different!!) We got some stuff called Denali Moose racks!! Gross name, great taste.. it had mini-peanut butter cups in it!! Too kewl. And what they consider a small.. is actually
VERY LARGE! But little piggy that I am.. I ate it all! Then two ladies came into the shop and asked if we'd all been to the signing. We said yessss.. and they said that one of us may have won the drawing! But they couldn't remember the name of the winner. Hmm! HOW RUDE! So, we all finished our stuff.. and off we went.. BACK to TTP.
As we round the corner.. there we find Ruth and Lisa yelling.. YOU WON>> YOU WON THE DRAWING.." and both of 'em just pointing to the group.. we're all saying "I won..? I won?? WHO WON!?!?! and then Ruth says.. "Carla, you won the drawing!". (that wench). We all went in to help her pick out her prize..(she chose a mug) then went to have Nora sign it. We all went back outside on the porch to hang while Carla did her THING with Nora. She came back outside and said.. 'SHE REMEMBERED ME.. SHE KNOWS MY NAME!!! SHE SAID.,"CARLA YOUR BACK!". Carla gonna work THAT cloud nine for about another year or so! =) Can't blame her.. but I can still call her a *i*c* !! Hey, what are friends for, eh!?
Then Pammy and Gerri told us about a UBS in Hagerstown. We followed Gerri to the secrete location.. and DAMN!!! THIS PLACE IS HOOKED UP!
Okay, after Carla stops GLOATING about how Nora "remembered" her,
AND her name, ( I can hate her for that, can't I?? =) we follow Missy Gerri to the UBS. Now, I gotta say, I'm thinking I'm a book snob. I have only been to ONE UBS in my entire life. The only other one I was in was a decrepit old barn, reeked of mold, dust, mice (yup, it was a visual)..eeww just yuk. I usually get all my books brand spankin' new. I was going to reserve judgment until I saw this joint. Now, THIS place.. WOW! TALK ABOUT A KEWL PLACE! This store was HUGE.. and looked like a freakin' Romance Novel Library!! ONE WHOLE room practically for just romance. Too kewl. Pam, Gerri and Carla all said they REALLY WISH THEY HAD THEIR LISTS with them. I showed some decorum.. only snagged three books..(Pam's suggestions) while Gerri nabbed about 20, and true to daughter form.. Chelsea got 16!!! I think Gerri should adopt me.. whatcha think?
Anyway, after about 45 minutes perusing the many MANY shelves, we get checked out and leave. Gerri gives us directions on how to get back to our various locations.. Pammy back to PA.. Laurie and Carla back to TTP.. and.. well, Missy Gerri lives there so she was just goin' home. At a particular intersection, the three of us were all going in opposite directions. Well.. we blew that theory all to hell.. and Miss PaammUUULa thought we screwed up and missed our turn off. She caught up to us and we yelled at each other out the windows. BTW.. did I mention that while
Pammy drives along.. she's got her tunes CRANKED.. and she's just-a-singin' along!!! You can tell she likes to SING SING SING!! =)
Back at TTP.. the joint is all but empty! Everything put back in its place. Only Bruce and Sophie are still there. Then Dan comes in the back way with his girlfriend and new PUPPY DOGGY! Tooo cute. Little beagle lookin' thing. All soft and nosy! Carla and I decided to bag the joint and head to her house in College Park (jis outside of DC). As we're walkin' down the steps.. WWWHHHOOOSSHHHHHH! Four little paws go flyin' past me., in a blurrrr of black and white. Woooooooe!!!! So I scamper off after the little bugger. Catch him and mosey back into TTP. Bruce is standing in the back doorway, just looks at me...(hmm, he thinks I'm stealing' the puppy!).. "You have an escaped puppy dog!" I tell him.. just as Dan's girlfriend comes around the corner. Mommy is all happy to have puppy back home safe and sound. We
leave.. again.
The drive to Carla's neighborhood took about an hour or so. Nice drive.. UNTIL.. you get close to the capitol. They have a lane (far left) which is labeled for MULTIPLE PASSENGER VEHICLES only.. but on the weekends, it's open season. It's a FIVE lane highway and portions are called THE OUTER LOOP.. and others.. didn't quite catch 'em but you get the idea. Once we get off
THAT highway,, it's through another suburb city to Carla's house. We drop off all my junk.. then decided what the plans were for the evening. THE DUBLINER!
We decide to do dinner and entertainment all in one spot. The Dubliner. On the way there, Carla gives me the drive-by tour of DC. Saw Billy Boy's house. All nicely lit up. Then around a few more blocks.. then back to the subway station so we can ditch the car and not have to worry about THAT when we leave. We get our subway passes.. and yours truly.. puts the paper thingy in the
whogywhopper.. and promptly goes in the WRONG entrance.!! Oh yeah.. I'm just standing there waiting for the gate thingy to open.. Carla's just standing there looking at me.. then she calmly says.. "Go Around to the OTHER side." (the wench.) So we get up to the TRACKS.. and I hafta go investigate the THIRD RAIL. Hmm, must get lots of jumpers here cause they have it covered.!!
=) Carla is all nervous thinking I'm going to do something. (Heh heh heeee)
We get on the subway, and head off into DC and to Union Station. KEWL place. I'd been there before (had dinner in Uno's on third floor).. and Carla gets all pissy faced cause she's not showing me something new! So we head out and right across the street is the CAPITOL POST OFFICE. WITH Museum! Anybody need stamps?? Down the street and across the street.. which we j-walked..coulda been
run down SPLAT in the street. Daredevils, ain't we!? Livin' on the edge...
The Dubliner is a fine upstanding Irish Pub/Restaurant right there on Capitol Hill on F street. (how original is THAT!?). They have an outside patio fenced in with a waist high black iron fence almost the entire length of the building. We go inside and get seated... on the patio. At the end, street side. We sit down, or try to. The chairs are right up against the chairs from the talbes on either side.. You gotta be THIN to get in 'em. So,
I pull mine out to the side, set my butt down.. and shimmy (okay, bounce!) back into place. REAL attractive I MUST say!... Then the waitress shows up and takes our drink order. Mine.. Irish Mist on the Rrroocks. (hey, its' Irish.. gotta roll the "r"s.) Carla.. that original chic.. gets the same thing. The waitress comes back with the liquid, and takes our order. By the time she wanders back.. we need more liquid.!! When she came back, I just HAD
to ask her this ONE very pertinent queshion. "DO THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A HORNY LEPRECHAUN!?" The girl just looked at me... then grinned.. and said.." Well, I know of a couple wwaaaayyyss...".. NO NO NO NONONO!!! I'm talking about a FROZEN drink. "Oh, well, we don't make any frozen drinks" Hmmm bummer! So off she goes. Dinner arrives, we munch.. drink.. then it's off to the inner sanctum of the Dubliner... THE BAR.!
We headed INSIDE to get a table so we could VIEW the entertainment. We have a bit of a time trying to GET a table (now mind you, there are FIVE right in front.. all empty.. but they're reserved for DINNER folk.. not us lowly drinkin' folk!) Hmph! Well, we fixed that right quickly enuff!. We parked our toushies right at the end table, next to the door.. and in front of the FREAKIN' KITCHEN DOOR!. Ah well. We get more liquid. The place is starting to fill up nicely. Paul is supposed to be our server for the evening.. but once he figured we were only liquid consumers, he promptly left us to our own devices. That B*S*A*D!!! Meanwhile, the wait-staff keeps coming and going through the kitchen door.. and may I just say that the LIGHTS in the kitchen are RUNWAY LIGHTS BRIGHT!!!..BLINDED!!! many many times.. then
the eye has to re-focus.. just a pain...beergoggles and all..
Then along comes Mr. Andy O'Sumthin. He's somewhere in his 40's, semi-gray hair, shoulder length. He parks hisself on the stool and starts tuning his guitar. About 10 minutes later, he rips in to this really REALLY DEPRESSING IRA ballad. Immediately followed by FOUR more depressing Irish ballads. Now, I'm in a GOOD mood.. and I wanna STAY in a good mood... so when he said he was going to take a wee break awready.. I pounced. I grabbed a napkin and started writing. Came up with 21.. count 'em.. TWENTY ONE UP TEMPO songs for him to .. hopefully, get into when he returned. Now, all this writing makes a body mighty thirsty!... needed more liquid.
Andy O'Sumthing (Btw.. when he sings, he looks like he's in pain.. and sorta at first sounds like Bob Dylan doing those ballads..) anyway, Andy moseys back to his stool on stage and picks up the napkin I left on his music stand and says " It seems we have some requests here..more like a book!". And at that point, Mr. Andy sorda looks out the corner of his eye to OUR table! Hmmm guess I was far from discrete when I was writing 'em! LOL. ANYWAY.. he goes RIGHT INTO THE FIRST SIX I REQUESTED!!! The whole bar started gettin' into it. Galaway Bay, Irish Rover, Wild Colonial Boy, Wild Rover, Lord Of The Dance,
The Jug O' Punch... oh yeah, we were rockin' the Dubliner after that. Two sets later.. it's roughly 11:45 or so, and Missy Carla is feelin' the punch! However, this girl hides it quite well. She only got up on the chair ONCE. She kept eyeing the bartender like a slab of prim rib...I personally didn't get a good look as my back was to the bar.. but every now and again, she'd stare a hole through him. That's our Cara.. subtle. =) Okay Okay.. I lied about her dancing on the chair. She only did that as she was stumbling on her way to the car. Anyway, we left the Dubliner around 11:45 or so and headed back to Union Station. I did it RIGHT this time!! One shot.. all the way thru. Then we wait for the subway. Long wait. We sit on this bench thingy and a few
other folks mosey on up too. Sitting behind us is ... ya know,.. this is getting awefully long.
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