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The Birthright Tour - Laurie's Story

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Okay - get comfy cuz ye just KNOW I'm gonna get damn wordy! LOL

Alarm went off at the crack of 4:01am. (dammit!) Got my butt in gear and was out the door at 4:45am. Hot DAMN I'm good.

High winds thru NY, and then once I hit the mountains in PA.. FOG thick as PEAZOOP! (that's Pea Soup acording to my nieces) Now - I WOULD have made some darn good time on this here trip if not for 10 mph traffic thru a good 45 minutes of WHITE-OUT fog conditions. Couldn't see 10 feet in front of ye.

Once outta the fog - we're into the RAIN...then sun!... then rain... then SUN... then rain....then more rain... then not so much rain, then no rain...and no sun, then as I pull into Booonsburryville.. RAIN! Can we say - bad hair day!? Granted - I chopped it all off on Thursday after work - but what was left of it... GOT DAMN CURLY. (dammmmmmmit!)

A whole BOAT load of us hit Crawfords for breakfast - and Pammy - shanghi'd a newby into joining us. Poor good. She looked shell shocked for hours after. Poor dear.

During the signing - we were all over the place number wize - so it was just me and Kelly and Tracie in the 3rd group. Those two got ahead of me, so when we got up to the table - it was just me..(Kelly walked off to pay for her stuff). I'm standing in front of Beth H. - and I say
Me: " I'm not sure......"
Beth: " Do you want SEX?"
Me:. Huh...? Welll now... that's a new one!!....Geezzzz...
Beth: Flustered realized what she said..." Well HEY - it's not an offer!! Really - just the books... " Much laughter after that one... she clarifies and says that one book has sex.. the other doesnt'... THAT'S what she meant.
Me: Ohhh sure.. well, I appresheate the offer... but....
Beth: Laughing.. it's not an offer.. it's NOT an offer!! then she turns to Nora and says.." Don't offer her any sex"
Nora: Well, I've no intention.. she can't afford sex with me!"
ME: LMAO.. HELL NO!

Then I sort of side step over to Nora and glance over my shoulder - and this lady standing behind me says " Oh.. do you have anything for Nora to sign?" Me: Hmmm, well, just the book she has in front of her. (how rude!) OYE!

Then I'm off to chat with Stacie and pay for the booty.

Once back outside find out the "gang" (Pammy, Autumn, Carla, Jeannie, Tracie, Jen (friend-o-Tracie's) Sangeeta, - are all at the Creamery. Waddle on over that-a-way and realize I hafta go pee. BAD!. Walk into the video joint - find a line of three OLD ladies waiting in line. Go into the creamery and get my a ... large coke! Call me stupid. Have a few sips - now I REALLY REALLY gotta go! We figure out who is and who isn't going to go to Barnwood. For SOME reason Pammy shocks us all and says she's not goin'. So it ends up just Kelly, Carla and I going to Barnwood. One the way back to our cars - I opt to go into Crawfords to use thier potty.

Walk thru to the back of the resturant, open the back door and find the cooker lady standing there.
Her: " My grand daughter is in there - I'm just seeing if she needs help".
Me: "Oh, okay - take your time..." and I wait outside the door. Start tappin' the foot. Then the other foot. Cross the legs. Figit with the knic-knacks on the shelf - curse that little girl for takin' so damn long. Re-cross the legs..tapp foot harder. Walk around the card section, then back outside the door. I swear I stood there for a good 15 minutes. Then I said screw this and started for the front of the resturant - figureing I'll use the bathroom at Barnwood. And there... playing by the front door... is that damn little grand daughter just laughin' up a storm. Damn near lost it right then and there. Turn around...start back twards the back and see the cooker lady give me a glare. HA! TOO BAD LADY!.. into the potty room I go...swearin' under my breath...and...aaaaahhhhhhh...... I think I may hafta kill that woman for not tellin' me they were OUT of the damn bathroom HOURS ago!

Waddle to the car and head off to Barnwood. Did a drive by the two bank parking lots to see if by chance Kelly and Carla had actually waited the 5 hours for me to go potty - they didn't - thank god!

Mossey thru Barnwood - and I was GOOD! I didn't by a gosh darn thing! Wanted to - but the two that I THOUGHT I'd get - turns out I had 'em both at home already.

Now it's about 3:30 and we're going to meet the rest of the gaing for Dinner at the Texas Road House at 5:00. Hmmm, what to do for 90 minutes. HIT THE BAR!. Off we three go - Kelly, Carla and meself to hang at the bar and await the arrivals of the rest.

Gosh I miss the bar. Last time I drank was Christmas Eve! I was long overdue for some Irish Mist. Thank GOD they have other customers who like it as well. Whilst we chat with the bartenders (one male - DAMN CUTE and his partmer - Suzanne) - Sangeeta calls Kelly's cell to find out where we are - THEY WENT TO BARNWOOD! LOL. OOhh noooo, we're already waitin' for ye!

The rest of them show and we eventually get to our tables. They'd smooshed two tables together with a booth, and then another booth right next to it to seat us all. We have: Kelly, Pammy, Me, Arleen, Edith, Carla, Jeannie, Autumn, Sangeeta, Dawn (from Adwoof) Eileen, Phyllis, and two other girls who I can't for the LIFE of me remember their names. The one with long black/brown hair I know I'd met at the July gathering.

Now - ye get a group like this together and naturally... THINGS start happening. I'll spare you what Phyllis did at her table and Jeannie - well, since she's the "home girl" she wanted to leave an impression on the rest of us outta-towners. Girlfriend did her rendition of what she'd like to do to Jason - had he put in an appeaarance. LOL. Damn good thing that Nora didn't see or hear about it. She'd have been SHOCKED at what Jeannie - that sweet INNOCENT looking (HA!) girl was saying!!

Then it came time to call it quits and we all had to go home. I think we all said goodbye about 5 times between the table, the bathroom, and then the parkinglot.

OH!!! And whilst we ate - we called Wendy and Connie - we could barely hear Wendy on the phone - and we got poor Connie's MIL on the phone!!! LOL.

Then we all hit the road on home. Uneventfull drive home - thank GOD. Listening to my Irish Drinkin' cd and my Josh Groban cd and then Andrea Boccelli cd's. I got home at exactly 11:59pm. In bed by 12:01am. Up sunday at 5:30am... to help my sister move into her new place. Oye.

Da End.

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Now for THIS WEEKEND - and the lovely 48 hours of no power - ice storm from hell.. and the 47 degrees IN SIDE THE HOUSE temperatures!! I'll spare ye on this one and just say... Pop drove me up the freakin' wall and down the other side.... and at one point he was sportin': flanel lined jeans, fleece sweatshirt, fleece jacket, fleece hat, his flannel bathrobe, and two pairs of socks and his slippers, and two blankets over his legs. I had on: sweats, t- shirt, and had a blanket over me. And a warm fuzzy Jasmie kitty on my lap.

NOW its' the end.

Hope to have a HOME computer soon - the dream is not yet dead!

Miss you guys!!

Laurie (aka Jewells) - ye do remember me, don'tcha!?

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