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The Carolina Moon Tour - Kimberly's Story

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Sorry this is so long--I have a problem with short and sweet. Read every fourth word if you must...
Jeff and I woke up at 4a.m. on Saturday morning--after only three hours of sleep Jeff was cranky and wondering why Nora wasn't coming to Chicago. So I stupidly informed him that Nora would be here next week... Thank God it was early and he wasn't at peak brain capacity, so I further explained we'd be meeting Wendy, Jenny AND Nora. This is like having a complete solar eclipse, winning the lottery, and getting the front parking space at the mall all on the same day... So Jeff got dressed and stopped asking questions of me so I could do the same.
We finally got out the door at 6--and I forgot my gift for Nora, my camera, pictures for Wendy of the kids, and various other items--including the ever-present box of kleenex. Midway through the trip we hit allergy season and I had to settle for McDonald's napkins as that was the only business establishment offering paper products. I abraded my face, wiped all of my make-up off, had some messy moments with my glasses, etc. It was not pretty. I think I was snotty from Lafayette, IN all the way through to Dayton.
I slept while Jeff maintained manly control of the vehicle and cd player. We hit Dayton and realized that our mapquest directions were completely whacked. Wendy forwarded me the directions the bookstore people gave, and the ones she was going to use, but by that time we were already beyond those exits... So, my husband being the engineer that he is, calculated the position of the sun by the latitude and longitudinal factors, multiplied by 7, and divided by the distance between Books and Co. (signing store) and the distance to Mars. This brought us to the other side of Dayton--and then, WHOOPS!, we weren't in Dayton anymore! HE STOPPED AND ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS!!! We were on the correct road, but 15-20 miles in the wrong direction.
We finally got going in the correct direction and I was relieved. I was hoping Wendy was running late too, or that she wasn't standing there waiting the whole time, because I meant to be there before 12:30 and it was a bit after 1pm when we pulled into the parking lot. I gathered up my first round of books from the car, the Crusies, and grimaced at myself in the mirror. It couldn't be helped, I was having a bad face day and am shallow enough to admit it. Bad hair days are for amatuers, and as such I have moved on to other things.
Jeff and I walked into the beautiful store. I think any establishment that has books in it is great, but this is one of those stores you can spend a lot of time loitering in. The first table inside the entrance was half Nora/half Crusie. I picked up Carolina Moon and two Welcome to Temptations... One was for the contest winner to be announced later... I was trying to figure out if I needed to pay first or get them signed while also keeping my eyes peeled for WENDY!!! There was a lady who I thought MIGHT be Wendy--she told me she'd be wearing jeans and a red sweatshirt with a bird on the front, gave hair description and age, and added that she'd be bespectacled. I kept trying to be cool--checking out the person without staring... I was trying to see the front of her sweatshirt without staring at her chest--some people don't enjoy that. I whispered to Mister Man that I thought it might be Wendy, but wasn't sure. He was looking for the sweaty, 800 pound man resembling Cousin It, so wasn't probably considering my pick for Wendy at all. He excused himself to the necessary and I continued my quest to identify Wendy--after a minute I just walked up to her and asked. Yeah!! It was Wendy!! Let me tell you guys--Wendy is the coolest!! I didn't stop laughing from that moment until about six hours after I got home.
Wendy and I walked to the signing area, got our numbers, and found some seats in the back row. The signing area was a raised stage full of seats, with a podium and signing desk at the front--very nice and organized. And also getting more and more crowded by the minute. We were laughing and talking--and then the lady in front of us joined in. She's a Janet Evanovich fan like we're Nora fans... She started plugging her Evanovich lists after we told her we just met IRL (Wendy: that means In Real Life! ) after meeting on the lists. It was SO funny because she was telling us about her lists and Wendy was telling her she used to be on it but quit because it was boring!!! LOL But this lady kept going on and on about Evanovich--I kept thinking she was going to rip her face off and actually be Janet Evanovich underneath...
Jeff came back and met Wendy. He mentioned that he would go to the movies during the signing, but then thought I wanted him to stay. Either one would have been fine, but he was the only man there! LOL So he stayed--and that was when I learned the FUNNIEST thing about Wendy!! OMG! I could have wet my pants! We were talking kitten talk and I told her I forgot to bring the pictures of Merlin and Company for her that I meant to... It wound around to kids--and she told me she doesn't like kids!! I couldn't stop laughing!! You know how people show pictures of their kids and talk about them like they're the smartest most clever babies ever born? Imagine Wendy telling you your baby looks like an alien!! Jeff was laughing too--he's in the "I'm not ready for kids" phase and loves to hear other people confirming his thoughts. I decided, however, that Wendy can be Godmother to my first baby. I'll send pictures every week and hold the phone up so she can hear all the baby-speak... I'm not Catholic, so will have to do more planning on how that situation works. Okay--I'm kidding about that.
I was having a blast chatting with Wendy, if you can't tell. This list is full of cool people!! The next part is when Jenny Crusie took the stage... Even if I left at that point it would have been a fun day. :-)
Okay--so then the proper bookstore lady intoduced Jenny. It turns out that Jenny used to work in that particular bookstore, so these were her friends and former co-workers. I love info like that. She talked about her writing process, older books, how she came up with Welcome to Temptation, and all kinds of interesting things. She wrote this book about six years ago when it was still called Hot Fleshy Thighs, but the editors rejected it. They loved her proposal though, and passed it all around Harlequin's offices. She said it's a legendary proposal, but still the story about filming a porn movie did not fly. Morph to present day and she re-worked the book so that it's a Vanilla Porn movie--a tasteful, steamy love story aimed at women--not a raunchy, down-and-dirty sex fiesta. She tweaked the characters, played with the hero , and finally ended with Welcome to Temptation... It's a super book--I read it yesterday and loved it.
But picture my husband sitting there in a crowd of women, with Jenny talking about porn, how her books are known to be sexually explicit, etc. I should have counted how many times she said the word sex, or audience members asked about it... Too funny. I bet he reads the book now! But he found other things interesting--her educational background in feminist something. How she got into writing when she had to read 100 Harlequins in a month for research on her dissertation--and loved them so much she wrote one. NOT--"These suck. I can write better than that." She talked about how the author's gender affects the reception of the work and the nature of the characters. She says she's thinking about going back to teaching--that she was born to teach and misses it very much. She has trouble meeting deadlines--she had a deadline a few weeks ago for her new book and still only has 5000 words written.
But this is my favorite part... She was talking about how they're going to re-release Manhunting in November, and it's strange they're working on her backlist... Then brought up something that she did for a contest. She wanted to submit a proposal, and also heard about a contest for 25,000 words. She had worked on an idea for a rich, successful businesswoman and a rich, successful businessman... This was her earliest work when she was trying to adhere to what she thought at the time was "the formula" Her stereotypical romance turned into something she hated and she dumped it... She was about 20,000 words into it and realized these people had no soul--they were awful. Then, she resurrected it for the contest--thinking she would lose the contest and accept the proposal after seeing the quality of her writing. They rejected Hot Fleshy Thighs, but she won the contest! She won $1500 and lost rights to the manuscript--they now have the right to publish it any time they want and she gets nothing. She said if she sees the book again she'll throw up--and last she heard they're giving it away free in Australia! The more she said, the more of a sinking feeling came over me... Then she said she saw it on E-bay the other day for $28... So we should run if we ever saw a copy of Sizzle! I had just told Wendy that Sizzle was my pride and joy--it was the hardest book to find and was really good. It's a REALLY fast read, and has an awesome under-the-desk scene... But after that I was afraid she'd throw things if I asked her to sign it. Wendy laughed and told me I should, so I did.
She signed it "Burn this Book! Jenny Crusie" and signed a bunch of others (one for Jodi and one for Murialisa ) and also signed my Welcome to Temptation "For Kim Great to meet you--even with Sizzle! Best wishes, Jenny Crusie" I also told her about trying to meet her at the RWA Literacy signing, but talking to Mary Alice Kruesi by accident. She thought that was funny and said Mary Alice was like the sister she never had.
I was so out of it that I walked back towards Jeff--and missed what Wendy and she talked about. It turns out they were talking about sexy stuff! So Wendy will have to tell you all about what they talked about. Jenny has a college-aged daughter though--which I did not know. Wendy is the one to send to author signings--she actually talks about interesting stuff!
Then we went back to our seats and waited for our Nora numbers... Talked about what she wrote in the books, and were educated further on Janet Evanovich and fan fiction...
Okay--we got our numbers for Nora and Jeff decided to go it alone in the bookstore. I think Jenny Crusie said Sex too many times and he was embarassed that he was the only guy... The funny thing is that a man sat in the chair he vacated! He was on the back end of middle age, but not quite a gramps kind of guy if memory serves...
I was trying to decide which books to have Nora sign of my older books and pulled out the definite ones... The first book out of my Noraholic bag was Night Moves--the ONLY book Wendy hasn't read!! So I'll send it to her as soon as I'm done with it and she'll have read them all!! She even got PMT from the library, so doesn't need to fart around trying to find that one. I'm so jealous While we waited, our Janet E. connection greased our wheels with more of the official website activity, plot points of Hot Six, etc. I did enjoy talking about whether it was Morelli or Ranger--I can't get enough of the Stephanie Plum books! Quick note: I just remembered!! Wendy ratted me out to Jeff earlier!! She told him about my Hawaiin travelogue where he had his ho-bag seatmate touching his arm and going to the bathroom with him... How she laughed at everything he said, etc... Ahem--well Missy Wendy told him about how I said I'm married to him and KNOW he's not *that* funny... He was like "Oh really?" I was busted... I was also trying to remember anything incriminating that might bite me on the heiny... But I told Jeff it was a very complimentary e-mail for him, as are all of the things I say about him... I was so glad that Wendy didn't imply that I make him out to be sort of a geek. LOL Even though I do sometimes. I'm married to him after all--and love him for his geeky moments too... And there are many.
The Queen Arrived! God Save the Queen!! She was looking fabulous and polished--as she always seems to. I am not good with fashion reporting--but she had a black leather jacket on and some other clothes underneath that followed a black and white scheme. I did notice she had dangly earrings on--maybe silver? She looked like she could use a day to herself, tired from the tour, but was cheerful and enthusiastic. The intro lady said Nora sells a book every 8 seconds (was it 8?)--but I thought it was every five minutes. Anyone know? Whatever--it's a lot.
She had a lot of the same questions--Eve and Roarke aren't going to get pregnant anytime soon. I think she said "anytime in the next five years" to be exact. They're settling into marriage and learning how to be in a relationship. Maybe later they will explore parenting issues, but right now they're busy being newlywed. She said people live to be 120, so they have plenty of time, no rush. Seth will NOT be getting his story! He had a rough childhood and is enjoying being 12 years old. He needs to concentrate on selling those boats and playing--"No sex for Seth!" She also allowed for changing her mind at a later date, but I doubt it.
She talked about her writing process--how her ideal day would be an hour workout due to sitting on her butt all day and needing to move it sometime, playing with e-mail, writing for 6-8 uninterrupted hours, more e-mail because it's fun, making dinner, another hour or so writing, reading someone else's stuff or vegging on tv shows, good sex... She mentioned real life including the dog puking on the carpet, BW entering her domain and her having to stare at him until he leaves, the phone ringing and life happening. Apparently she doesn't have as many "typical" writing days as she'd like. Right now she's reading Anita Blake--she's on Bloody Bones!
What else did she talk about? After the Irish trilogy she'll have a new trilogy set on an island off the coast of Maine or Mass. (?)--conjured by witches during the Salem Witch Trials. It'll be set in modern day though, and about decendents of the witches. She corrected someone on Warlock/Male Witch terminology and said that we MAY see spin-offs of the Donovan kids if they need stories and the time is appropriate. She'll definitely nest the rest of the MacGregor chickies though--Daniel demands it. She mentioned another In Death Novella she has yet to write, that will be timed between In Deaths already written and on the publishing schedule. She said that was strange for her, the out-of-order writing aspect.
So Wendy and I aren't chatting anymore--we're just soaking it in. The Queen was holding court beautifully.
An interesting thing, contrasting Crusie and Nora's writing and publishing schedules, is that Nora commented she's never under deadline or publishing pressure. She just keeps her pace and whips these puppies out like she plucks them from trees. Crusie takes 18 months to finish a book and is on a yearly publishing schedule. She has to get started on her next project while she's still finishing up the previous one--and as such is ALWAYS under deadline pressure. I LOVE details like that--they're so interesting to me. Sorry if not to you... Can you see Nora? She wakes up and finds a finished manuscript under her pillow that fell out while she was sleeping--Crusie tries to hire the mailman to come in and write a few pages while she does research on e-bay. LOL And I LOVE them both!!
Hmm... Another interesting item, I thought, was that she didn't choose to do the Irish Hearts Spin-off book. They decided to re-release the Thouroughbred and Rose books and asked her to do the spin-off. Then she scoped out the characters, calculated the real time and book year time, and decided who to write about. But *they* asked *her* to do that book. She could have said no though. And who are "they", anyway? I always want to know.
Nora said she had time for a last question... What's the question, you ask? Someone said how much they loved Jewels of the Sun--when's the next one of the trilogy coming out? What a dumb question! Ask the bookstore--not Nora! Check her website! Jeeeeeez!!! LOL Oh well--at least she had the guts to ask, unlike me. Then the proper bookstore lady started calling numbers and Nora put her butt down at the signing table.
Wendy had her faves ready to be signed, her gift of chocolate for Nora, and was helping me keep track of the numbers being called. I swear I asked what number we were every time they called the next group! I should have known I'd turn stupid, but was hoping I could keep my cool. When we were in the group actually standing at the front I started getting flustered. Wendy was calm, cool and collected--totally unruffled!! I stared at Nora while she signed my books, told her I got my books from TTP but wanted Carolina Moon from her signing store (DUH!! how dumb! lol) and that Jeff is reading In Death now. That was it. I forgot my tribute too. :-( Then Wendy's turn and she rocked!! She was eloquent, highly complimentary, thankful for the stories, everything a great Noraholic should be when in the presence of the Queen. I was thanking God that Wendy represented us in Dayton, because I was a wash. LOL Wendy even had Nora talking I think, but I can't remember... My mind is a blank for those lost moments in time. She can fill in the blanks... haha Watcha got to say there, Wendy??
After we got our books signed I noticed the guy sitting next to me was behind the table getting his pic taken with Nora--he was so cute! :-) He had a pile of In Deaths and was smiling like a million bucks!
Then Wendy set her book down on the ledge and reached into her bag... She pulled out her wallet and set it on top of the book. Before she even took her hand from it she was panicked because her wallet was missing! ROFL She had just put it on the book!! She dug around in her bag and I pointed to it on her book, which was funny for me, but probably not for her... Then we went to the check out and I took longer than Wendy, so she was pointing out stuff to Jeff that he should buy for me. I'm not sure what Jeff was supposed to buy for me, but I think I heard him ask what the thing was for and what one would put inside the boxy trinket-ma-bob. I don't care what it was--Wendy can solicit gifts for me from husbandito any time! Enough of this Hallmark holiday garbage--I want gifts year round!
We decided to grab some dinner. The three of us set out to find the restaurant Wendy saw earlier, but as we neared it we realized we were looking scruffy for this particular establishment--all three in jeans. At the other end of the mall was a casual place with an interesting football mural... Let's just say that I made an @ss of myself with that one. But that's not what I'm talking about, now is it? We chatted some more and I learned that our Wendy is big-time into gambling on basketball. I'm kind of worried about her, but she says she can quit anytime. I knocked cheese all over from my salad and Wendy squirted lemon juice around--it was like a republican food fight! We chowed and Mister Man told us his driving woes. Then we split--since Wendy had a four hour drive and we had a five hour in front of us, and all of us were up before dawn to boot! Anything for the Queen and fellow list-family!!
I had a super day, all told. And now you guys can pretend you were there too!! I just remember how fun it was, and how funny Wendy is. She had me laughing all day. And actually all the way home too! Jeff was sorely challenged to not stop and stuff me in the trunk from giggling and being slap-happy. I have a water tower fascination (not unlike Carla's love of lighthouses...) and there's a bit in Temptation about the town water tower. I tried to read for a few minutes in the car, and later was laughing about the town hall meeting. Jeff asked what was funny and I informed him the water tower looked like a penis--was even painted flesh-tone. LOL We talked about a lot of interesting things on that car ride... He didn't stuff me in the trunk, but did ask me what my problem was several times. He was laughing AT me, not WITH me. I snorted more than once.
I hope Karen and Darla have fun in Texas--we're a cool listful of ladies, so my money is on yes.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Kim :-)
(¯`·.,¸(¯`·.,¸·´¯`·­>Khymberlee<­·´¯`·¸,.·´¯)¸¸,.·´¯)

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