Carla's Official Report
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- ACCIDENTAL TOURISTS ALL ARRIVE SAFELY
-
Despite freaky road mishaps, MCNAB'ers scheduled to meet for this
year's TTP celebration eventually arrived. By now you've all
probably read that list-mom Darla and her family arrived safe and
sound following a Waco, Tex., highway accident that severely damaged
their Ford Expedition (poor Moby!). Sara and Sara'sMomJudy also
found roadside trouble when they skidded off road during a rain storm
en route to the event. Ang's trip from Missouri was also marred by
bus problems, delaying her arrival by more than 8 hours. [Becky,
Julia and Adwoff pal Aleena arrived Friday night, without road
problems, but also without Becky's clothes. She ended up not needing
them, really, given her ability to provide nightly floorshows for the
hotel's guests.
More on this later.] - Contrary to these ominous omens, everybody got to TTP! YAY! By raffletime Sunday, JDRobbers luck would change for the better! Bigger YAY! And, with 17 posters, lurkers or former members attending, the list had its largest ever showing at the event including Ang, Ann Lorz, Annie, Becky, Carla, Connie, Darla, Dorbert, Jeannie, Jill, Julia, KatieD, Laurie, Pammy, Sangeeta, Tracey and Wendy (please forgive me if I missed someone–blame my head and not my heart). Biggest YAY!
your faithful reporter, Carla
- DISCLAIMER
- Hey, now! You all are NOT off the hook. I can't possibly recall all the great things about the weekend. For one thing, I couldn't stay up as late as some other ladies did every night. (I won't mention any names [Laurie, Wendy, KarenL, Pammy, Connie, AnnLorz, Sangeeta] to protect the um, innocent. NO innocence was left after this weekend, however.
] And, as I told Annie repeatedly, we need to read everyone's different perspectives! I might have noticed a few things you'd be interested in, though... Check back soon, for my report. Carla P.S. In a remarkable break with years of tradition, Connie appeared in Pammy's shirt this weekend, instead of vice versa...I didn't get all the details, but I will report that the two are still married--to men, not each other... I've confused you, haven't I? Join the club.
- ENTHUSIASTIC HIKERS TAKE ON ANTIETAM
- Friday, July 11, Sharpsburg, Maryland–-Several Noraholics were seen touring Antietam, site of the Civil War's deadliest battle. An estimated 23,000 people were killed in one day on several hundred acres of western Maryland farmland. During a recent tour, quite a few fans of local author Nora Roberts, who were in town for some kind of Crazy Broads Convention called TTP VII, discovered muscles they had never known, as they braved 80+ degree temperatures to traipse along the battleground's path.
- "We have to experience EVERYthing...Let's take this path to Georgians Overlook," suggested one adventurous hiker named Wendy, who never met a historic battlefield she didn't love. Her fateful advice led the flagging, exhausted crew only about a quarter of a mile out of their way along an insect-infested creek in the hot, baking sun.
- Leading the troupe was 18-year-old Stacey Lorz, recent high school graduate, conditioned athlete and daughter of Ann, who set a tortuous Olympic marathon pace up a steep incline following a visit to Burnside Bridge. But her companions were more-seasoned (read aged) troopers, who were never bitter and never once complained.
- "Whose bright idea WAS this, anyway," one trooper was overheard to whine. "We just climbed up that stupid *#&*@ tower at Bloody Lane."
- All hikers survived the trek. No oxygen had to be administered.
- Later, following a last stop at the Battlefield's sobering cemetery, further danger of unknown quantities was avoided when the hikers left the dingy, all-but-deserted Sharpsburg gentle(?)men's pub they had inadvertently entered in search of food and beer–-not necessarily in that order. Despite Jeannie's warning, "This may not be where we want to go," the unsuspecting females sauntered into the establishment, where three pair of male eyes stopped and stared reminiscent of the way pack wolves scent raw meat.
- "We don't have food today," barked the kindly, but menacing-looking 6- foot tall (and about 4-feet wide) bartender/bouncer/ax-murderer type who met the women before they could take seats.
- As one, the women backtrack, politely explaining that perhaps they'd rather locate a restaurant closer to town–-WITH food service--instead.
--your faithful reporter, Carla WTTP, your local station now provides:
- =================A POETIC INTERLUDE================
- The Nights of TTP VII
- It must be said that–by rule, I think–Noraholics may never meet
Without the serving up of alcohol and the kicking up of feet.
And so we pause now to let some recall (and some vicariously savor)
Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights' traditional bar-room flavorAlas, but the evenings did run together
in this reporter's poor brain--
As innocently as we began each eve,
with a night's very simple pleasures,
Just hours later, the bright sun woke us,
with a morning-after's pure pain.Was it Thursday, Friday or Saturday nite?
[Hell, maybe it was all three]
When our Jewell of the Pub did make us blush with er, pride
She gave a drinking demo for all the world to see
As she met a seated stranger and made him part his legs to each side.And really, you had to be there, to witness this first- er, hand
She put her head between his thighs where a full wine glass did stand
Then, Laurie did use her lips
To inhale great gulps (not sips)
And finished off all-- liquor, foam (and man.)Also sighted in Saturday's round
of Debauchery Amid the Din
Was our own dear sweet KarenL,
upon the (dance) floor of hell,
happily sandwiched 'tween not 2, but 3 young men.
"Gimme just 5 minutes and a dark room,"
she was heard to oft repeat,
as she coaxed man after man out of his suitclothes
and into her, um, seat....But the true gem of the week–-
and it truly is a whammy--
was coined and eloquently delivered
by our ever-loving Pammy.Midway thru a very late night (or really early morning) hour
Following her 2nd (or, was it 3rd) clothes change & shower,
Pammy's voice rang out, o'er spiraling bodies & musical spasms...
"The last time I sweated this much, I had multiple orgasms!"And that, my friends, is the age-old tale
of TTPs both recent and past
A scant few days to spend
with folks more family than friend
And a long dull year's recovery from the weekend's wonderful blast.- =============END POETIC INTERLUDE============
- SIGNING DAY DAWNS BRIGHT AND CLEAR
- Nora and several other authors including Robin Owens and Ruth Glick were settled into the TTP extension for the signing. As usual I couldn't think of a single thing to say to Nora, when it was my turn. I also didn't have a thing to buy (I have every book she's ever written), so managed to have her sign the Three Fates PB for my sister, who's just finished Montana Sky to rave reviews! I'll convert her yet! LOL
- I'm not good at remembering clothes, so someone else will have to describe who was wearing what glamorous outfits. To mark the event, most of the fans were sporting collector T-shirts of one variety or the other.
- Besides seeing the Queen and getting together with the hundreds of other Noraholics who attended the anniversary signing, the highlight of the day was meeting fellow JDRobber, SW Va Linda, who drove up for the day! Most of the MCNABs assembled on the porch of the bookstore to wait for Linda and her two kids (who were so cute and polite and well-behaved!) to arrive. Linda seemed so cool and friendly, despite the highway detour she'd had to take to get there. (What IS it with MCNAB'ers and the roads this year?) It was fun to put yet another face to familiar posts!
~Carla~
- JDROBB GANG CLEANS UP AT BRUNCH RAFFLES
- After a lunch buffet that included tossed salad, fruit salad, lasagne, spaghetti and cheese cake, the afternoon er, climaxed
with the Basket raffle. - JDRobb was tremendously lucky! Several on our list made off with big prizes on the event's final day: Ang had already won a seat at the head table and earned the right to eat lunch with the Queen!! [We DO expect a full report of every detail from said table, Ang. Don't leave out ANYthing.]
- One of our own won the Slainte basket!!! Congrats, Nancy!! We were all hoping that someone from our list would get this one. Of course, we were all not-so-secretly hoping we'd each BE the one, but we're not bitter, are we?
- Also among the winners were Sara, Sara'sMomJudy, Jill, Pammy and Wendy. I wasn't writing anything down, so I may have missed some winners. Spontaneous applause erupted everytime MCNAB'ers heard Nora (who picked entry slips from a basket) call a familiar name. The complete list will certainly be posted on the ADWOFF message board soon, if not already.
- The raffles raised more than $4,200–almost double last year's total-- for the Nora Roberts Foundation, a charity organization established by the Queen herself.
- Contrary to these ominous omens, everybody got to TTP! YAY! By raffletime Sunday, JDRobbers luck would change for the better! Bigger YAY! And, with 17 posters, lurkers or former members attending, the list had its largest ever showing at the event including Ang, Ann Lorz, Annie, Becky, Carla, Connie, Darla, Dorbert, Jeannie, Jill, Julia, KatieD, Laurie, Pammy, Sangeeta, Tracey and Wendy (please forgive me if I missed someone–blame my head and not my heart). Biggest YAY!
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