WHERE ARE CHER AND BJORK WHEN YOU NEED THEM?

By Jaycie Cash

I’ve long been of the opinion that the day after the Academy Awards should be treated as a national holiday, so folks could sleep in after staying up late to watch the show.

After all, the show must be watched . . . by the likes of me anyway and other movie fans I know. At least, that’s been my position until now.

But from here on out? Well, the future’s still unwritten.

Don’t get me wrong; I think Billy Crystal does a great job as host. I was sooooo happy when I heard he was coming back this year. I always think his opening video/movie is comic genius. This year’s offering made me laugh as well.

Still, there was definitely something missing Sunday night. I yawned through the first hour and stewed over my ennui, but was never able to quite put my finger on the problem until a friend called during a commercial more than halfway through the show. To my surprise, she quickly and succinctly defined the problem: “Man, the Oscars just aren’t the same anymore, now that no one dresses crazy any longer.”

Bingo!

Clearly, the stylists of the world have homogenized, and essentially ruined, my favorite awards show. This year nobody had a three-foot feathered headdress, complete with cutout ensemble, ala Cher. And there wasn’t a single swan dress in the whole damn crowd. Where’s the fun in that?

Sure everyone looked gorgeous, but come on, is a single ill-advised choice really too much to ask? One, maybe two, unfortunate designs would have made the whole darn night. And Sasha Baron Cohen’s ridiculous dictator outfit on the red carpet doesn’t count. He was trying to look stupid. Neither does Angelina Jolie “posing” while she made her presentation.

Yes, the girl could use a week or three stuffing down some cheeseburgers (we’re talking some seriously thin arms) and she would have probably looked even more breathtaking if the slit in her skirt hadn’t gone quite so high. Still, there’s no denying she’s incredibly beautiful. The guy who imitated the pose she struck when he won the category she was presenting made me laugh, but that’s probably just jealous mean-spiritedness on my part. After all, at the end of the night I’m not the one who went home with Brad Pitt.

Although if I had, I would have made it a point to trim his hair before I left.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? DID YOU ENJOY THE ACADEMY AWARDS THIS YEAR? DO YOU MISS THE CRAZY COSTUMES OF YEARS PAST OR DO YOU PREFER EVERYONE LOOKING LOVELY? PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS POST OR ANYTHING ELSE. A FREE COPY OF MY DEBUT NOVEL, MRS. GOODFELLER WILL BE RANDOMLY AWARDED TO ONE PERSON WHO LEAVES A COMMENT BELOW BEFORE THE NEXT WRITERSPACE BLOG IS POSTED.

Jaycie Cash blogs on a regular basis for Writerspace.com. Her debut novel, MRS. GOODFELLER, is available through most major eBook outlets, including Amazon and Barnes and Noble. She’d love for you to like her Facebook Author page.

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