After more than 25 years writing, the question I get asked most of the time is, “What’s the question people ask you the most?” All right. So it may sound like I’m going in circles, but the question I get asked in every workshop, interview, and book signing gig is: “Where do you get your ideas?”

Oh, my. Where DON’T I get my ideas.

Take for example, my latest tome, WHY DO WOMEN CRAVE MORE SEX IN THE SUMMER? 112 QUESTIONS THAT WOMEN KEEP ASKING - AND THAT KEEP EVERYONE ELSE GUESSING. It all started, as with all things in my life, quite innocently. The conversation went something like this:

One of My Best Friends (OMBF): … so I was talking with {significant other} the other day, and there’s this noise in my car going, “gabong, gabang, poof!” And what does he say? He says that I’m hearing things. I don’t know if I’m just hearing things or it he’s just ignoring things. What do you think?

Me (M): I don’t know. I think I heard something about women and hearing once…

OMFB: Well, what. Do we hear better or what?

M: Oh, I don’t remember. I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast.

OMBF: Well, you’re the scientist. {Note: This is the excuse everyone uses for and with me—from why I have to be on time to everything, why I devour non-fiction books—even to why I have a sweater with leather patches at the elbow} You tell me.

M: But…

OMBF: No, buts. Get off your butt find out. You’re nosy. You can dig out the answer if anyone can. And I’ll help—I’ll even write down my question for you so you won’t forget.

Ah, friendship.

So I searched for answers. In reality, I was interested, too, because I wanted to know why my mechanic is always telling me to “just turn up the radio” when I complain about a noise from my car. I found out that most women do have a better sense of hearing than men—or at least we’re more aware of the sounds we hear (in and out of a car). And I also found out, in one study, when participants listened to a novel being read, most men seemed to listen mainly with their left side of the brain, while females listened with both sides. Since the right side of the brain is the more “sensitive” side, this may be why women are more sensitive to the tone of someone’s voice.

But of course, it didn’t stop there. Suddenly, I had a friend ask me about a woman’s “reptile brain” (we all have one). Another friend asked me why it seemed that she and her friends’ periods fell into sync (not true, I found out). A nonchalant mention of mascara led to me wondering about the eyelash mites that hang out in our eyelashes. (One of my friends says that answer in the book is really great for party conversations.) Chocolate and coffee always seemed to be a topic du jour—and some interesting research on eating too much chocolate lead to the question of what are some bizarre ways women try to lose weight.

A bunch of ideas—and book was slowly being born…

So there it is—“the” secret: The real way to get writing ideas is to be nosy, to look around, to listen to others’ questions and comments. It’s not like Stephen King said; no, there is no little old idea-man in Schenectady.

Write fiction? Go to a grocery store and listen to a conversation in line (clandestinely—don’t let them know you’re listening). If the woman in line says to her friend, “… then Hilda said that her uncle’s brother was the one who got thrown in jail—but it was actually her uncle who did the deed!” What fodder for your stories. Start playing with the thought—maybe it wasn’t the uncle, but he was really taking a fall for the brother—because he owed him big for saving his life from that big snow plow that almost killed him that one winter when they were young. Oh, my. That was fun…

Write non-fiction? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened in when women asked questions at the library, grocery store, or even at doctors’ offices. Why does her husband sweat like a horse, while she sweats like only a little? (Most women do have to exercise harder than men in order to start to sweat.) Do men have hot flashes like menopausal women? (Sometimes, but for different reasons.) Why is she so afraid of spiders (which intrigued me since I’m not)?

The mind never quits asking questions or looking for answers—so one idea leads to another...

Nosy, indeed.

And oh, if you see a short woman standing in line behind you at the grocery store, and she seems to be studying the M&M or Hershey bars just a wee too much, don’t worry. Just keep talking. I’m harmless.

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PB-S is a science, science fiction, and humor writer—and the author of the women’s health and humor book, WHY DO WOMEN CRAVE MORE SEX IN THE SUMMER? 112 QUESTIONS THAT WOMEN KEEP ASKING - AND THAT KEEP EVERYONE ELSE GUESSING (through NAL/Penguin). With more than 30 books and hundreds of magazine articles to her credit, she still finds time to grow organic garlic, shallots, and herbs in her spare time. You can learn more about her at www.pattybarnes.net.