Terminally Unhip by Any Other Name

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Terminally Unhip by Any Other Name

By: Jaycie Cash

It’s official: I’m the most seriously unhip person on the planet.

Not only do I fall short when it comes to participating in social media (frankly, I have a hard time believing anyone cares if I had a bagel for breakfast and I couldn’t yawn in 140 characters, much less Tweet something that would make any sense . . . you should have seen the Haikus I tried to write for high school English), but now I discover I’m completely behind the times when it comes to television as well.

This disturbs me more than I can say. Time was—back when there were far fewer channels—I was the queen of the airwaves. If a co-worker missed a popular show, I was the go-to person for updates the next day. One jokester used to angle his gooseneck lamp in order to spotlight me as I stood by the office water cooler. Not only could I wax eloquently about episodes that had aired, but I was also a TV Guide with blonde highlights, I could quickly tell you what specials were coming up and when Fall, Spring and Summer viewing seasons would both begin and end.

Today, however, I’ve been overcome by the sheer enormity of selection. I’ve stopped even trying to keep up with programming. But I hadn’t realized just how badly out of step I’d become until I was watching Jay Leno the other night and learned one of his guests had recently won the Emmy as host of a game show I’d never even heard of, much less seen. And, apparently, this is far from the program’s first season.

The Emmy winner, Ben Bailey, host of Cash Cab, told a rather amusing story about being in a restroom on awards night, back stage and three flights down when he heard them call his name as winner. He had to quickly reassemble his clothing and dash for the stage. He was still so noticeably late when he rushed from behind the curtains that he felt it necessary to explain on live television, right there on the Emmy stage, exactly why he’d been so slow in appearing to accept his award.

Later that same night a friend who’d been watching the broadcast Tweeted and asked Bailey if he’d really been in the restroom at that critical juncture. Bailey assured him: “I had my #$@(* in my hands when I heard them call my name as winner.” His friend, another professional comedian, was quick to Tweet back: “Congratulations, you’ve just discovered the title for your life story.”

You were probably wondering when I was going to get around to discussing books. This time out I’m not going to delve deeply into anything that’s actually already on the shelves . . . that will certainly figure prominently in future posts, however. But Bailey’s story did make me wonder what would be an appropriate title for my autobiography... or biography, if someone else ever decided to do the honors.

I don’t think I’ve found the perfect answer just yet, but some ideas have come to mind: I kissed a transfat . . . and I liked it is probably the most accurate so far; I regret that Tina Fey beat me to Bossypants, but I’m cheered that Snootyboots is still available; and I can’t count out The Lone Writer.

How about you, what would be the perfect title for your life story? And while you’re writing, feel free to suggest topics for future posts. I look forward to hearing from you.

 Jaycie Cash blogs on a regular basis for Writerspace.com. Her debut novel, MRS. GOODFELLER, is available through most major eBook outlets, including Amazon and >Barnes and Noble. She’d love for you to like her Facebook Author page.

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