by Sarah Ballance
Whether you’re writing about hooking up or out there doing it (HELL-o!) let’s face it: some places just don’t live up to their sexy reputations. In honor of the release of The 48-Hour Hookup, let’s take a look at some of the absolute worst places to get down and dirty.
- In the water. Yes, it always LOOKS so seductively romantic, but water is (ironically) drying. And there are all kinds of things floating in it. Do you really want to be double-teamed by sea plankton or lake algae or whatever that duck left when he landed in your chlorinated pool? Yeah, I thought not.
- Just out of the shower. You know the thing, where it begins in the shower and ends on the bed? The one where you just can’t bear to wait thirty seconds to dry off? Holy crap YES that’s hot. But when you’re done, there’s a little problem. The sheets are soaked. The mattress is soaked. ALL THE THINGS ARE INDEFINITELY SOAKED. This sucks.
- Public restrooms. What. The. Heck. I get that they become convenient when hooking up RIGHT NOW must happen. But that’s all I get. And those of you hitting the portable toilets for sex at festivals and concerts, OMG. I’d shake your hand for your dedication to the sport, but…no I won’t.
- In a field full of wildflowers. This one could be great, actually, as long as you don’t have allergies, sneeze EVER, or attract bees. Or ants. Or ticks. And if you don’t have a blanket, forget it. Nothing has ever been itchier than laying (or doing that other stuff) in the grass. Except maybe doing it in the sand, which brings us to our next no-no.
- In the sand. Nope, just DON’T. Sand sticks to the slightest bit of moisture, and sex requires, at minimum, the slightest bit of moisture. There will be sand in delicate places. It will be abrasive, and you will be almost certain you will die. FOR DAYS.
So there you have it. Five places to just say NOPE. Scratch ‘em off your bucket list, get a room, and don’t soak the mattress. And when you’re done, check out The 48-Hour Hookup. (But first, hide your chocolate, because…well, pick it up and find out!)
The 48-Hour Hookup
by Sarah Ballance
Release Date: September 12, 2016
Who knew a sweaty photo would be good for business?
Now unwanted booty calls are coming in as fast as work orders, and Liam Chase needs to get away. Cue a job upstate. His new client is hot as hell, but he left NYC to escape attention, not to hook up with the city’s “Runaway Bride”.
With three disastrous relationships under her belt, it’s clear Claire Stevens’s judgment sucks. And what’s she’s feeling for America’s newest sex god? Obviously another hormone-fueled mistake.
But when she accidentally fells a tree on his truck, leaving them stranded in a winter storm with a chocolate-snatching raccoon, there’s something to be said for body heat.
Too bad neither can trust their explosive chemistry…